


Do You Remember? When You Were Young and You Wanted to Set the World on Fire

by AST6



Series: Homiesexuals [3]
Category: Julie and The Phantoms (TV)
Genre: Also most of them are on the ace spectrum, Asexual Bobby | Trevor Wilson, Asexual Willie (Julie and The Phantoms), Bobby is also trans but it's not mentioned, Demisexual Luke Patterson, F/F, F/M, Found Family, Gen, Good Person Bobby | Trevor Wilson, Grey Ace Alex Mercer, Hurt/Comfort, Lot's of Bullying of Luke, Rated T for language, Trans Alex Mercer, Trans Luke Patterson (Julie and The Phantoms), Trans Reggie Peters, also the ships are all kinda background, and discussion of Shrek 2, he/they willie, i guess?, none of them are straight, she/they flynn
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-06
Updated: 2021-02-06
Packaged: 2021-03-18 11:41:40
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,493
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29243013
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AST6/pseuds/AST6
Summary: The gang watches a tape of a song Alex wrote when he was 15 and suppressed emotions resurface. After that they bully Luke and discuss Shrek 2You don't need to read the rest of the series to get this.
Relationships: Alex Mercer/Luke Patterson/Willie (Julie and The Phantoms), Bobby | Trevor Wilson & Flynn & Alex Mercer & Julie Molina & Luke Patterson & Reggie Peters & Willie, Bobby | Trevor Wilson/Reggie Peters, Flynn/Julie Molina
Series: Homiesexuals [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2093637
Kudos: 40





	Do You Remember? When You Were Young and You Wanted to Set the World on Fire

**Author's Note:**

> Title is form "I Was a Teenage Anarchist" by Against Me

They were looking through old things in Bobby's garage when Julie found something that piqued her interests.

"Hey Alex, what's this?" Julie inquired, pointing at a tape that was marked  _ Love, Alex <3 _ .

Alex's eyes widened. "Oh, you don't need to see that."

"Why is it romantic?" she asked in a teasing voice, throwing the tape to Willie so that Alex and Luke, who were attempting to grab it from her, couldn't get it.

"Actually, it's the tape Luke and Alex made aft-"

"Shut up, Reg!" The boys responded in unison, giving their friend dirty looks.

"Hey!" Bobby began, "Don't take the fact that you don't want Julie and Willie to see that tape in fear that it'll permanently alter their image of you out at Reggie."

"Well, that was oddly specific," Flynn told Bobby as she climbed up to the loft.

"Sorry, Reg,"

"It's just-"

"We have this wholesome image-"

"And that tape kinda-"

"Has stuff that might contradict that."

"Wait, did you guys make a-" Willie asked

"NO!" Both boys yelled, turning bright red.

"C'mon, man, you know we're both on the ace spectrum."

"Anyway, that's not the point, what happened is that I had been kicked out and Luke had been fighting with his mom a lot, and we both had these pent up emotions, and so I decided to write a song about my parents, well more to my parents and Luke helped me make the video, and we kinda went all out. Plus, I was 15, and like, being 15 sucked."

"So, it's your  _ Unsaid Emily _ ?" asked Julie.

"Ehhh, in a way," Alex replied doubtfully. 

"It's more like  _ Unsaid Emily _ if Alex and I wrote about how we felt about Emily times 10," Bobby added helpfully.

"Wait, what do you mean by that?" Julie inquired

"We don't like Emily, but that's not the point." was Bobby's response.

"Guys, can we please just watch it?" Willie asked his boyfriends while making puppy dog eyes at them.

"Ugh, okay," Alex said, "But only because I know you'll ask insufferably till we let you see it."

"Yes!" Willie cheered, making a fist.

"Pink haired 'Lexi is back!"

Julie turned towards Reggie. "Pink hair?"

"Oh yeah, and Luke put some blue into his too."

She turned to the aforementioned boys and raised her eyebrows. "So, can we start this or not?"

"Well, we'd have to find something that plays tapes first."

"Why did you guys record this on a tape anyway? It's not 1995." Flynn questioned.

"Oh, that's an easy one," Bobby started nonchalantly. "You know how Alex and Luke always have the same crush at the same time, with the only exception being if Luke likes a girl. Well, they both had this huge crush on this queer punk guy, and he mentioned making videos at their age with his band and saving the tapes."

"Okay, first of all, it wasn't a crush." Luke began

"Yeah, if anything, it was a healthy sense of respect and admiration." 

"Tell that to the heart eyes you'd make whenever you'd see him," Bobby replied back as Reggie continued the story.

"Anyway, Amir lent them his camera, and they decided to make the video,"

"Except we weren't there because we were at school like normal people who didn't ditch every other day, so they were making it completely unsupervised."

"Hey!" Luke said, shoving Bobby, "Stop trying to act all high and mighty we all thought the video was the coolest shit, and it's not like you guys didn't ditch as much; you just didn't around the time when the video was made."

"He has a point, Bobbers," Reggie confirmed as he lay his head in Bobby's lap.

"Alex ditched that much? I always thought he was like the responsible one?"

"I was going through some stuff, and as for the Amir thing," Alex started because he couldn't let things go, "We all thought he was pretty cool; I mean, he's part of the reason Reg got his leather jacket." 

Bobby played with Reggie's hair and gave Alex and Luke a look "Yeah but not all of us went  _ "Ooh, Amir is so cool. Did you see his tattoos? I wish I was as cool as him" _ or even  _ "Did you know that Amir said he likes our music? I can't believe someone that awesome liked our music" _ all you did was talk about how cool and awesome he was. You and Luke even started to learn Farsi just to impress him."

Luke crossed his arms and pouted while Alex sighed and conceded, "Okay, maybe there was a small crush."

"Guys!" Flynn exclaimed, clapping their hands to get everyone's attention. "Focus, we got a video to watch."

Willie voiced their agreement to Flynn's statement as Julie sat up, removing her head from her girlfriend's lap "Wait, it's a tape; where would we play it?" 

"Yasmine has something that can play it," Bobby said, referring to his guardian "That's how we watched it the first time." 

\---

So they all headed to Bobby's kitchen, where Yasmine was skewering some kubide. 

"Maman, we're gonna watch Luke and Alex's teen angst tape, wanna join?" 

"I'm okay, Bobby joon. Thank you for asking." 

\---

They all sat down while Bobby was setting up the tape. Luke was lying down on one end of the couch with his head in Willie's lap, and Julie was on the other end, head on Flynn and feet on Reggie, who happened to be sitting in the middle. Alex was sitting cross-legged on the floor with his back to Luke and Willie.

"Just a disclaimer, Luke and I were really into queercore and had been listening to  _ Queer as in Fuck You _ on repeat while planning this. Also, and I can't stress this enough, we were 15."

"Dude, just start it already!" Willie called from the couch as Flynn echoed their sentiment.

"Got it!" Bobby said, jumping on the armrest next to Willie. "Now, let the show begin!" He announced pressing play.

The video began with Alex turning on the camera. "Hey Mom and Dad, it's me, Alex, your  _ son _ ." They heard a higher-pitched 15-year-old crop top sporting Alex say, hair dyed pink at the tips.

"I'd only been on T for a bit when we made this video. I forgot how much my voice changed."

The only reply he got was a shush from Flynn, and Alex put his hands up in surrender as if to indicate,  _ okay, no talking, I get it _ .

Just then, an equally fifteen-year-old Luke came out. He had blue streaks in his hair and was wearing a black crop top that matched Alex's and read queer in bedazzled pink letters. Both boys appeared to be wearing eyeliner, but Luke's was smudged. "And me,  _ Luke _ , of course." His voice was only marginally deeper than Alex's.

"I see what you mean man, T really does work miracles."

All it took was a glare from Flynn to shut Luke up.

"Anyway, Mom, Dad, this song's for you!" Younger Alex yelled as present-day Alex buried his face in his hands, prepared for what's to come.

The song started with Alex playing a steady rhythm on the drums and Luke entering on electric guitar a few seconds in.

_ "You claimed to love me  _

_ You claimed to care _

_ If that's true  _

_ Then why don't you want me _

_ Want me there with you (with you)" _

As the drumming and guitar became more intense, as did Alex's lead vocals and Luke's backups as the chorus started.

_ "Fuck you (fuck you!) for trying to change me _

_ Fuck you (fuck you!) for kicking me out _

_ Fuck you (fuck you!) for not loving me _

_ Fuck you I'm going to shout (SHOUT!) _

_ I'm gonna live my life (My life!) _

_ I'm gonna be out and proud (And Proud!)" _

Past Luke and Alex were really rocking out to the music as Luke basically screamed the backup vocals.

_ "I don't need you _

_ Don't wanna see you  _

_ Wouldn't care if you died (you died!) _

_ I'm your Son  _

_ Can't you see _

_ I will never be the daughter you want me to be (to be!) _

_ I will never be what you want to be (to be!) _

_ And another thing I'm gay _

_ Fuck what you think the bible says _

_ Cause I won't be the one to rot away (rot away!) _

_ So many years I tried to please you _

_ Tried to be the perfect kid _

_ Doesn't matter  _

_ Never did _

_ Because you hate me for who I am (Who I am!) _

_ Fuck you (fuck you!) for trying to change me _

_ Fuck you (fuck you!) for kicking me out _

_ Fuck you (fuck you!) for not loving me _

_ Fuck you I'm going to shout (SHOUT!) _

_ I'm gonna live my life (My life!) _

_ I'm gonna be out and proud (And Proud!)" _

The song continued with more angry lyrics, and it eventually came to an end but not without a ferocious drum solo from Alex. 

After the last note was played past, Alex took Luke's hand, and they walked together to the center, both flashing the pink triangle they had painted on their middle fingers on top of the black nail polish.

"Just so you know," Past Alex said, addressing the camera, "I'm here, I'm queer, and you guys can go fuck yourselves for not accepting that." Then he pulled 15-year-old Luke into a kiss making sure the camera could see, and when that was done, Alex walked to the camera and turned it off.

The screen was black as they sat there silently absorbing what they had just watched.

"Well, that was intense," Flynn remarked, breaking the post video silence. "Lots of swearing."

"Yeah, I really forgot how angry Lexi and I were at the time."

"The drum solo was actually really good, though," Julie said encouragingly.

"And now I want one of those crop tops," Willie added.

"I always thought Alex was less of the punk rock type and more into something like 80s pop."

"He's both," Bobby answered Julie.

"He has layers, like Shrek," Reggie added, helpfully glancing at Luke as he said the last word.

"Oh yeah, one time we found these old dance videos from the 80s, and he got so into them." Luke started, "I wonder if we still have the videos of him dancing?"

"So, did you guys all dye your hair, or was it just an Alex and Luke thing?" Willie questioned.

"Well, after Alex was kicked out, he was crying a lot and stuff like that for the next couple days, but then one night he was just like,  _ "Fuck it, I don't care anymore, imma dye my hair pink, _ " so we went three am shopping for hair dye, and after Alex dyed his hair Reggie and Luke wanted to do it too." 

"And so we went back to the store and got hair dye for me, Luke and Bobby."

"Except Bobert here didn't want to dye his hair, and it took me and Reg a while to convince him, and when he finally did thanks to Reggie's puppy dog eyes, he went with black, which is a lame choice since it's already super similar to his natural hair color."

"Hey Lexi, do you think I should dye a red streak in my hair again?" Reggie asked and received no reply.

"Alex, you okay?" Bobby inquired, frowning.

Alex turned, allowing everyone to see the tears streaming down his face. 

"Alex," Luke said softly, sounding a bit shocked. This was the first time they'd seen Alex cry since he was kicked out. 

"Can I give you a hug?" Alex nodded, and Willie pulled him into a tight embrace. "Can the others join too?" Willie asked, motioning to the others to come and join after feeling Alex nod.

So Alex sat surrounded by his loved ones and sobbed. He cried for the first time in two years, and it felt so good to let everything out. He remembered that time, the anger and the fuck you attitude being a mask for all the sadness. In reality, he was devastated when his parents kicked him out. He was 15, for God's sake!

He'd been suppressing his feelings on this for so long because he just wanted to move past it. It didn't matter that his biological parents didn't accept because his real family did. But the thing is that it did matter. Alex was heartbroken. These people he'd tried so hard to be the perfect kid for, never getting in trouble or anything, stopped loving him because of who he was. The people who were supposed to love him unconditionally didn't, and that caused a little something inside Alex to break. 

"You wanna know what the worst part of it all was?" He asked rhetorically, tears still prominent on his face. "They got to my sister too." He then told his friends about how he'd snuck to his sister's school to see her and how she told him that he should  _ "stop pretending to be a boy so he could come back home." _ "It's just she was my little sister, and my parents taught her to dislike people like me. As much as my parents claim to be devout Christians, they seem to forget that Jesus's most important teaching was love."

"Alex, I had no idea you were feeling like this," Julie said, pulling him into a tight hug.

"It hurt so much to see you after you got kicked out, and when all the crying and sadness stopped, and you said you were better, I believed you. Even though something felt different, I didn't reach out." 

Alex took Reggie's face and gently wiped the tears away. "I was doing better. The sadness wasn't as all-consuming as it was at the start. I didn't want to be confronted by how I was feeling, and it's not your job to fix me; you're my friend, not my therapist."

"Reg, I don't blame any of you."

"Yeah, Reg, we could have all done something, but instead of dwelling on the past, we can focus on the now."

"Wait, was it just me, or did Luke actually say something kinda smart?" Flynn asked.

"Hey!"

"She's right. It was surprisingly astute." Bobby added.

"I hate you,"

"Please, Lucas, you love me,"

"I do,"

"That's kinda gay," Luke gave Willie the finger while his other boyfriend started giggling, which turned into laughter that spread through the group like wildfire.

"It's funny 'cause it's true."

And eventually, the teens stopped laughing and regained their composure. That is at least until Reggie, who was hanging upside down from the couch, asked his previous question about dying his hair and got met with Flynn's response of "I love you, no hetero." Which caused the volcanic eruption of laughter to reoccur. Later on, Alex would remark that it " _ wasn't even that funny." _ But, the joke was less the source of the laughter and more a catalyst that helped free all the joy they were feeling through the simple act of being in each other's company.

\---

Later on, when their eyes were dried, and the laughter subsided, they clambered over each other to get to the diner table in order to eat the chelo kabab Bobby's adopted mother had made for them. 

At first, the table was silent except for the sound of utensils, the inhabitants too busy stuffing themselves with Persian food to talk, until Luke's mouth full of kabab said, "I really do love you guys."

"Well, that was rando-okay,"

"Love ya too, Puke."

"Fuck you, Bobby."

"No thanks, I'm ace," Bobby replied, garnering a certain finger from Luke and giggles from Flynn and Julie. 

"Yeah, Luke, did you seriously forget?" Alex asked, grinning.

"Fuck you too,"

"Hey Luke, hate to break it to you, but Alex is also on the ace spect-" But Willie never got to finish his sentence because, at that moment, he was met with an orange beanie to the face.

"You know what? Since you've all decided to bully me, Reggie is my only friend."

"Hey!" Julie protested, "Flynn and I didn't say anything."

"You laughed," 

"Well, duh, I love seeing you get bullied," Flynn answered, receiving a kick from their girlfriend.

"Flynn just proved my point," 

"It's not their fault you're so easy to bully."

"Yeah, you picked the name that was one letter away from Puke."

"Guys c’mon, I think his name is pretty cool. I mean, he did name himself after Luke Skywalker."

"For the last time, Reg!" Luke began exasperated, "I did not name myself after Luke Skywalker."

"Whatever you say," Reggie responded, disbelief obvious.

"You know what? Screw all of you," Luke said, considering launching himself at his friends but thinking better of it since he didn't want to have his desert rights taken away from breaking Yasmine's no fighting at the table rule.

"Luke, as I said earlier, the majority of our group is somewhere on the ace spe-"

"Maman, I'm being bullied."

"Well, Luke Aziz, maybe next time, if you pay more attention to your friends' identities, this wouldn't happen." She told him, stoically frizzy curls framing her face. 

Luke huffed and ate angrily. "What have I done to any of you?" Everyone started talking at once, listing things Luke has done. "Okay, I get it, but what have I done to Reggie?"

Bobby, Reggie, Willie, and Alex all gasped dramatically in unison. "You forgot!" Willie exclaimed over dramatically.

A realization dawned on Luke's face "Shrek 2,"

"I feel like I'm missing something," Flynn said

"Luke did something very, very bad."

"You're being overdramatic. It wasn't that ba-"

"While you two were off rekindling your friendship with Care Bear," Bobby commenced interrupting Luke's defense "Luke committed a crime,"

"It wasn't a cri-"

"The crime of upsetting Reggie."

Julie and Flynn gasped, "How could you?"

"Exactly,"

"It was an accident," Luke pleaded. "If anything, Reg shouldn't have put his Shrek 2 DVD on the couch."

"I see how it is Skywalker," Alex said in fake seriousness. "Blame the victim,"

"I didn't name myself after Luke Skywalker!" Luke paused then looked at Reggie, a shit eating grin spreading across his face. "At least I didn't name myself after a character in Shrek 2."

"I told you that in confidence," Reggie said, his voice rising an octave.

"Reg, if you weren't very much in love with Bobby, I would propose to you on the spot."

Alex opened his mouth to debate Willie's statement but thought better of it "You know what, that's fair, Shrek 2 is a masterpiece. I mean, the "I Need a Hero" cover is the best cinematic moment to ever exist."

"Wait, but which character?" Flynn asked. Everyone but Yasmine looked at Flynn as if she had just murdered their favorite person. "I'm sorry, I don't know every single thing about Shrek 2."

"Jules, I hate to break it to you, but I think you need a new girlfriend."

"I'm good," Julie said, planting a kiss on Flynn's cheek. "I love her, even if she doesn't know all her Shrek 2 lore."

"Well, anyway, the guy Luke was referring to was the trumpet guy who played the Hawaii Five-O theme song."

"Why do you even know his name?"

"Because we watch that movie regularly, or at least we did until SOMEONE, not naming any names broke the DVD."

"Oh, come on, can we stop talking about it. If anything, we should disclose the fact that Alex named himself after the lion in Madagascar."

"Luke, we all know that isn't true," Julie said.

"And why's that,"

"Because if I were to name myself after a Madagascar character, it wouldn't be Alex, you nincompoop."

"New question: if you could name yourself after any Madagascar character, who would you choose?" Willie asked animatedly. So one by one, they answered the question while waiting for Yasmine to return with the faloodeh.

Alex started them off by answering with Julien, then Bobby followed with Moto Moto, which Willie responded to with a "me too man," and a high five. Then came Flynn, who said Mort "because it means death," then Julie with Willie "Hah, I stole your name." 

"TV show characters don't count." 

"He was in the movie," 

Then Reggie went and said Melman for some inexplicable reason. Luke was the last of the group to go, and his response was Skipper.

"Yeah, because you like bossing everyone around."

"Shut up, Bobby,"

"Make me,"

"Oh, you wish I would, you little shithead,"

"Yeah, right, you just know you'll never succeed."

"Only because you're madly in love with Reggie."

"Duh,"

"Aw, Bobbers, that's so cute," Reggie said, reaching over the table to squeeze his boyfriend's hand, causing Bobby to blush.

"Not as tough as you want us to think," Alex teased.

"Shut up, as if you wouldn't-" But Bobby was cut short by Yasmine bringing the faloodeh.

Alex smiled, knowing that if losing his parents meant experiencing this moment with his real family, then he wouldn't hesitate to go through it again.

  
  
  


**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading this! 
> 
> Did I make Bobby's adopted Mom the queer Iranian I wish I'd had to mentor me growing up? Maybe 
> 
> For those of you wondering kubideh is a type of Iranian kabab, joon means dear, aziz also means dear but in a different connotation, chelo kabab is rice and kabab, and faloodeh is an Iranian desert that's kinda like rose water sorbet with rice noodles in it that you squezze lemon juice onto.


End file.
